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"Of course it is happening inside your head,but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

Παρασκευή 22 Ιανουαρίου 2016

  
  The sun had already set in the horizon, spreading its crimson light over the snow.    
  Despite the cold, she stood by the open window, letting the wind embrace her, dance on her hair, caress harshly her skin. She did not mind the slightly unpleasant feeling. There were not many things left that could still affect her in some way, that could somehow convince her she was not dead yet, and she cherished those moments with a cruel devotion.
  Eloise hardly ever looked in the mirror anymore, her reflection scared her. Not her face or her body - no, they had remained unscathed, untouched by the storm of the years. 
  No, only her eyes caused the fear.
  A dear, loving voice echoed in her memory, a soft whisper telling her how their silvery shine reminded him of the moon and the waterfalls on the mountains.
  Now she knew, in their grey depths there were no waterfalls anymore, there was no wild, flowing water. Only ice. Cold, harsh ice. Two frozen stones in the mask that now was her face.
  She used to be full of rage, remorse, sorrow. Memories of those days, full of agony and despair, appeared, painful and uninvited, and they were immediately dissolved, pushed forcefully away. Those days had passed.
 And yet she could not lie to herself; she yearned for those bitter emotions. Once, in their darkness she could feel alive. They had saved her from madness once, when everything else was lost. Now she was numb, trapped in this everlasting prison, a prison without bars, a golden cage made of betrayal and broken promises. And an oath. An oath that had been her undoing...
   "My lady, the window!"
  A young maid had rushed into the chambers, her shocked eyes on her mistress.
  Eloise realized her hair was wet, her gown covered with melting snowflakes.
  The servant girl was now running to the window. She was about to allow the girl to close it, when she noticed the familiar figure of a man at the castle gates.
 "Stop." she ordered.
 The girl froze. "But you will be ill tomorrow..." She hesitated, but finally she nodded obediently. "As you wish, my lady. Is there anything else you need?"
  "No. You may leave."
  The maid looked relieved; she was trembling in the cold room. With an awkward bow, she left hastily.
  When the door closed, Eloise turned again to the window. She stared at the man, loathing emerging in her eyes. He was walking slowly, almost lazily across the white fields, his pace steady, confident as always. But she knew him too well to be convinced by this pretense. He was worried, for the first time in those long twenty years she had known him. Normally, his fear should be an unexpected gift for her, a tiny moment of satisfaction-  strangely enough, it wasn't.
  She knew something was about to happen, something she was not prepared for. But when had she been prepared for anything, she thought sarcastically, as her gaze wandered at the castle's now deserted yard. He had left. 
  She had spent all her life fighting, in vain. In the end, he had always been one step ahead. 
 The wind grew stronger. The snowflakes followed its course, forming a battle in the air. She raised her head against it and straightened her back. She would fight again - if not in the battlefield, then she would do it behind those stone walls. She had to find a way. Revenge was all she had, all she needed. Until now.